Modern Despot

Everyone thinks the whole “amazing escape of the hero while the villain is gloating and revealing the genius of his plan and how it might be thwarted” is just an overused movie cliche. But once you’re in the moment it’s easy to get caught up and overconfident. As “the bad guy” here are some things to keep in mind to make sure you don’t fall victim to the all-too-common problems of today’s despot:

1. If ever someone says something like “Before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” you’re doing perfect! Shoot them right then. Don’t even bother saying no, and definitely don’t give in to the temptation to say anything else at all. Believe me, the feeling of relief you get after brutally murdering your adversaries and removing them permanently from your consideration is worlds ahead of any temporary happiness you might experience while gloating.
2. When trying to figure out what to do with the noble leader you’ve usurped make sure you give murder the consideration it really deserves. Sure, locking them in a tower sounds like a good option, and it seems like you might be playing it safe. But the way to really play it safe is to remove your adversaries completely. If you want to ensure you avoid murder accusations down the line, consider burning or dissolving the corpses instead.
3. Do not include a self-destruct mechanism. Seriously, why would you do that?
4. Never accept a challenge from the hero. Just cause they’re the good guy that doesn’t mean they don’t have something devious up their sleeve.
5. If a group of soldiers from your Legion of Terror fails to complete a basic task necessary for your plan you’re going to need to kill them. Especially if your other soldiers are held up in some way. It might seem overly brutal, and good henchman are hard to come by right? But they failed. They’re can’t really be fantastic henchmen if they came back before getting the job done. Believe me, the remaining henchman will respect you for it. No one wants to work with scrubs.

Modern Despot is your one stop shop for all things tyranny related! We strive to provide the leaders of tomorrow the cutting edge info they need in planning the overflow of the existing regime and lording that power over any and all that should oppose them. The world is changing. Gone are the heady days of the classic despot. Greats like Mao, Pol Pot, and Stalin may never rise again. Today’s despot is the information age despot. Seizing and holding power requires less brute force and more subtlety than it once did. Legions of stalwart followers have been replaced with a few well trained assassins, formations of tanks have been replaced by banks of computers, and flamethrowers replaced with…. well, there’s just no replacement for a good flamethrower fight is there?

We’ll provide you with the info and instruction necessary to plan your next coup and making sure it sticks. We’ll be tackling the hard questions like “Hired Goons vs Robotic Weapons Platforms”, “Comprehensive Techniques for Crushing Uprisings”, and “The Total Cost of Ownership for Vat Grown Ninjas, do they really pay off?” We’ll also be speaking to some of today’s more successful dictators to get some tips and tricks from the pros, and feature gear reviews for everything from low earth orbit spy satellites to antipersonnel incendiary devices. See you soon future despots!!